A short guy interested in catching his glasses.
Your beloved. She's a lot like Princess Peach, except she gets abducted by aliens.
An annoying exterrestrial that insists on abducting your girlfriend. He only appears if you get over 30 points total.
The evil minions of the big UFO.
Your glasses. They fall from the sky for no apparent reason.
X ...Shoot (Bonus level only)
Gameplay (for a normal game):
Your glasses fall from the sky three times: first time, slowly, second time, faster, third time, very fast. The objective is to catch them on your face and not to let them drop. Your score depends on how well your glasses fit when you catch them. If they fit perfectly, you get a 10; if they fit very poorly or fall on the ground, you get a 0. After you've caught your glasses, walk off the side of the screen- but don't walk off before you have caught your glasses; this will result in a score of 0. Catching your glasses while jumping into the air results in a bonus point, no matter your original score, and catching the glasses in the middle of a running jump will result in 2 bonus points. This means that the most points you can possibly get during a game is 36. Scoring over 30 will transport you to the bonus level.
NOTE: Catching the glasses on a running jump is EXTREMELY hard to do. Unless you need to score a 12 to pass the game, settle for a jump catch.
One last note:
Between levels, the game will offer you a cigarette- don't give into temptation!
Gameplay (Bonus level):
Okay, your girlfriend just got abducted by an evil UFO. What to do? Kill it, of course? You'll be pleased to find out that you can now use the X key to shoot. Also, note that running off the screen while fighting the UFO is counted as an immediate forfeit. So don't do it. The UFO moves in 3 stages:
He just flies around, spawning mini-UFO's. Shoot the mini-UFO's to get 'em out of the way. If the big UFO begins to flash white, you have a couple of choices. He shoots out a beam of light that does a lot of damage, and then starts flying around again. If you get hit by the beam of light, you'll begin to flash white, and the next time you press X it'll be shot out of your eyes, allowing you to deal damage with it... However, although it's cool, the laser beam does more damage to you than it does to him, so most of the time it's not worth it. Occasionally, he'll teleport to a different location- this isn't too hard to deal with either. While he's flying, shoot the crap out of him- this stage is quick and easy.
Now he's fallen onto the ground, and he's beginning to bounce towards you. You can escape by running under him, and while you do so, shoot him up a bunch. He still spawns mini-UFO's, so shoot those too. It might take a while, but this stage is easy too. It's also strangely reminiscent of Ballos- Form II from Cave Story.
When he turns pink, you'll know it's almost over. This form is actually pretty easy too. It's pretty much like the first stage, except that the UFO moves waaaay faster, and spawns waaaay more mini-UFO's. Lots of 'em. Don't even bother to take these out - just focus on the big UFO. He's still got the laser beam and the teleportation- just shoot really, really, fast and it'll be over quick. However, this time you can use the laser beam reflection trick with more success- he shoots more often, but it deals less damage to you.
Beat the UFO, and your girlfriend and the glasses will fall from the sky. Catch one and get a score, just like in the beginning. Don't try to get both. You'll fail.
After you finish and walk off, you'll be treated to some very nice pixel art depending on what you managed to catch.