The Wish-Granting Game

Granted but you trip and it falls into my mouth.

I wish I could catch people in pokeballs.

Granted. By being able to do that, you are arrested.

I wish I was more creative.

 

Granted, you also get much longer artist blocks.

I wish for some bacon.

 

Granted, you get raw Minecraft bacon. Sadly this is the real world, and you get food poisoning and die.

I wish all the knowledge of the things that happened during my absence was poured into my head.

 

Granted, but to do that we have to open your skull.

I wish I had the ocarina of time.

 

Granted, You can travel to The Present or 1 Minute into the past.

I wish for a Sandvich.

 

Granted. But it malfunctions and kills you.

I wish that the character art for Jack for CS 3d didn't look so bad.

 

Granted, it's really, really good. But everything else is utterly shit by comparison.

I wish I had an iPhone, that doesn't cause me to die of anything, or is broken in any way. Or does anything to my friends and family.

 

granted the costs of using it are insane though 500$ per second of use.

I wish for a fort for myself

 

Granted. Due to its poor architecture that is equivalent to playing cards, the fort collapses inward with you inside.

I wish to eliminate "Shiny" from my username.

 

Granted. You are banned, effectively eliminating your entire username.

I wish that people would come up with harder wishes.

 

hmmmm... Okay... GRANTED!
I wish a small rock appeared 2 feet in front of me, without any velocoty at all, and fell at my feet. I then walked past it without harm.

 

Granted. You are banned, effectively eliminating your entire username.

That does make sense, considering how grim the answer was... Maybe it could be more grim...

Granted. Since your wish does not comprehend with the laws of nature, time itself implodes, leaving no harm to you and anyone else.

I wish for Guxt for Mac.

 

Granted. Apple has been bought by Microsoft, and Mac is essentially Windows 7 with a few custom themes now.
I wish I didn't have a headache, yet still had a head.

 

Apple has been bought by Microsoft, and Mac is essentially Windows 7 with a few custom themes now.

This is a bad thing?

 

I wish that Cave Story would stop hurting people that aren't in the game.

Not gonna' happen, partner.

This is a bad thing?

I can see the headlines...
Gates takes over Jobs' position. Thousands of Windows haters found dead in their basements; strangled to death by their own Apple headphones and anguish.

Granted, but your brain and eyes were removed in the process.

I wish I were standing in a wax museum filled with Elvis's (Elvi? Elvae?) last Tuesday and nothing went wrong.

 

Not gonna' happen, partner.



I can see the headlines...
Gates takes over Jobs' position. Thousands of Windows haters found dead in their basements; strangled to death by their own Apple headphones and anguish.

Granted, but your brain and eyes were removed in the process.

I wish I were standing in a wax museum filled with Elvis's (Elvi? Elvae?) last Tuesday and nothing went wrong.

Granted. But you also have to come back every tuesday for the rest of your life.

I wish nothing happened for this wish

EDIT: I fixed it.

 

Granted. But you also have to come back every tuesday for the rest of your life.

And your wish is?

 

granted "nothing" happened as in you became nothing.(enjoy your nothingness XD)


I wish to know where the rain valve is so i can stop the raining whenever i want and turn it on whenever i want

 

Granted. But ten you find out that is is only condensation.

I wish that it would rain where I am.

 

Granted! Rain will now fall on you for the rest of your life.

I wish for a better guitar