The Wish-Granting Game

Granted, but you still have lungs, so you die of oxygen deprivation. (I hope I spelt that right)

I wish, I wish I had a big fish.

 

Granted. It's a shark. And you're in the middle of the ocean. It doesn't end well for you.

I wish I was good at modding.

 

Not granted. You are already good at modding, you have the potential but you haven't unleashed it yet.

I wish I hadn't drawn the main cavestory characters as old people.

 

Granted. You didn't draw them at all.

I wish the members list hadn't been disabled.

 

Granted. It hadn't.

I wish my stomach had no end.

 

Granted. You now have no stomach.

I can't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be if I had some DELICIOUS CRISPY CHICKEN! =D

 

Good to know. Tell me if you get your hands on any.

I wish I had erectile dysfunction.

 

Not granted. CUZ U ALRDY HAD IT OLOLOLL!

I wish I could watch futurama all night long.

 

Granted. That's already a bad thing, so I don't really need to say more, but just for shits and giggles, you get cancer too.

I wish cheese were higher on the food chain than humans (and therefore, by the transitive property, higher than DELICIOUS CRISPY CHICKEN! =D).

EDIT: Ah WoodenRat's was much better than mine anyway...
You can watch futurama all night long but that's now all you can do for the rest of your life.

Next poster still has to grant my wish

 

Granted. Cheese gets ridiculously expensive and you are to blame.
So they kill you.

I wish I wasn't so bored.

 

www.tvtropes.org
Hope you don't have anything planned...

I wish I was a spaceship.

 

Granted. You are destroyed by space pirates.

I wish I knew a lot more awesome freeware zombie games.

 

Granted. Now you know!

I wish I would never have to sleep.

 

Granted. You get no beauty sleep and turn ugly.

I wish for a golden statue of Kanpachi.

 

Granted, however, its awesomeness blinds you, and deafens you, for some astronomically paranormal reason.

I wish people would use the phrase "astronomically paranormal" more often.

 

Granted. Fox News repeats it endlessly after a picture of Obama holding a tinfoil hat surfaces.

I wish the internet was serious business.

 

Granted. Merlinoboy makes yet another topic.

I wish anime consisted of black people.

 

Granted. Merlinoboy makes yet another topic.

I wish anime consisted of black people.

Granted. All anime characters are now silhouettes.

I wish there was no such thing as a bad movie sequal.

 

Granted, but you star in all of them as a cowboy.

I wish I had had a dog.

 

Granted, you now have a Hellhound, with a taste for Wooden Rats.

I wish I had superpowers.