The Wish-Granting Game

Derntag. Cenis ouy deska ni a yerv cingsofun nernam, I liwl trang oryu swih yonsclufnig.

I wish for a level 100 Missingno.

 

Granted, however, your whole game is now broken beyond repair.

I wish I could catch up on this thread without tedious reading.

 

Granted. The process involves 9 months of training, and you succumb to madness after three.

I wish everyone else has had more sex than me.

 

I wish everyone else has had more sex than me.

Granted. Everyone else has had more sex than you because your penis was amputated when you were 3.

I wish Fire1052 wouldn't grant my wishes anymore.

 

Granted. He stopped granting your wishes and forgot about your existance.

I wish the wish after mine would not be granted.

 

Granted, but I beat the crap out of you for wishing that.

I wish for this wish to be granted and ruined.

 

Granted, however, since I'm not a nice genie, your head is now on fire.

I wish I could walk through solid objects.

 

Granted. You sink through the ground until you die of too much heat as you near the core of Earth.

I wish I could actually understand programming.

 

Granted, but you understand programming so well, that you finally understand the meaning of life and kill yourself.

I wish I was made purely of liquid carbon.

 

Not granted - I have no idea what that is.

I wish for a track ball mouse for my second computer.

 

Wtf man!? I wanna be made of liquid carbon!

 

Wtf man!? I wanna be made of liquid carbon!

Granted, but due to the fact that liquid carbon must be kept under high pressure and temperature, you solidify and combust upon entering this atmosphere.

Also Audioworm gets a track-ball mouse, but it costs him one of his balls unfortunately (for the mouse).

I wish I didn't have to study for finals.

 

I wish I didn't have to study for finals.

Granted, you fail your finals as a result and you work at a gas station for the rest of your life.

I wish I could sprite faster.

 

Granted, you fail your finals as a result and you work at a gas station for the rest of your life.

I wish I could sprite faster.

Granted, but then the sprites turn out horrible and give people eye-cancer just from the sight of them.

I wish I could make this org of this song faster.

 

Granted. You can make it 0.001 seconds faster.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

 

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted, but now you REALLY don't know what to wish for

I wish I had a coke

 

Granted. You are arrested because you have cocaine.

I wish GIRakaCHEEZER will finish WTF Story v0.5 soon.

 

Granted, but since he won't, I'll just give you this crappy plastic souvenir instead.

EDIT Oh yeah, forgot to wish....
I wish for a dwarf-tossing championship.

 

Granted, but Gimli (from Lord Of The Rings) is one of the dwarves and when you try to toss him he axes you in the head.

 

Granted, but Gimli (from Lord Of The Rings) is one of the dwarves and when you try to toss him he axes you in the head.

Granted, nothing happens.
I wish Audioworm made a wish.