The Well - Captain Fabulous

Poll's closed. It looks like at least ten people want to ask me questions, which I should be surprised by since they kept doing that in my Dear Doctor Fabulous thread.

So the idea is, I'm at the bottom of a well, and instead of helping me out, you guys ask me questions about myself. They can be pretty much anything at all, unless it's something that could be used to track me down. It's fine if you get uncomfortably personal, we're all some of us are adults. So please, ask away, because you want to find out about my boring life.

Oh right, uh, an introduction. I think you all know me well enough, but let's see what I can throw out there. I've been here for almost three years now but whatevs. I'm 19, male, white, Canadian, straight, unemployed, and I spend too much time on parts of the internet that are not suitable for casual discussion. Who wouldn't want to know more about this mysterious man?

 

What do you think of the decision to cease production of the canadian penny?

 

It's about time because I can't even remember the last time I used a penny to pay for something. I accumulate all this change and then everything bigger than a nickel gets used up. Pennies are worth more to me as projectiles than as currency, so that's how I end up ridding myself of them.
And Sweden, or one of those tall, fair countries, is starting to phase out cash altogether, which is a long road, but will make the world a little more like science fiction.

 

Then what are you gonna throw in wells or put into those penny making machines at museums and amusement parks?


Anyway, real question: What would you do if you were a woman for a day?

 

My question is *obviously* far more important that WD's, Fab.

Look at a cute cat. Now, imagine what voice that cat would speak in.

Does the cat speak in a 'mewling' voice, or does it speak like a human? If it does speak like a human, does it have an aristocratic European accent? Also, if the cat was a vampire, would it be able to purr?

 

Do you have an uncomfortable attraction towards abstract concepts (let's say, just as a random example, math)?
How do you deal with this lust?


Also what is your opinion on the personal mandate (US healthcare thingy. requires people to have health insurance)

 

What are your thoughts on the newer members this forum has, "new" meaning after a point in time of your discretion within the past 18 months?

 

What is your favorite guilty pleasure, if you even have one.

 

Favorite book/series/author?

 

WD, I'd touch my boobs a lot. It's not perverted, everyone knows boobs are great. Now, maybe this is perverted, but I'd have to try masturbating too. That is a never-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Sorry, but it seems like a reasonable thing to do. Then I guess I'd wash my hands and join a feminist group and make everyone sandwiches, just to fuck with people.

Ambient Malice, if it is a kitten, it speaks in a high-pitched child-like voice with a lisp. If it's an adult cat, it sounds like him. I don't see the connection between vampirism and purring, so I'm going to say yes.


Lace, I'm not a very abstract kinda guy. My preferred subjects in school were History and English and all that other stuff Math majors hate. Obviously, writing deals with abstract concepts sometimes, so I'm down with that I suppose. Extended metaphors are pretty sexy, do those count as abstraction?

Donc, I don't want to make generalizations about the new members. Although... we haven't gotten any immediate hits lately. People like Hiino and Cripplechair, who I knew I was going to like as soon as they started posting. The rate of immature kids joining up is certainly increasing, and I think that's turning off anyone who knows better. The older members of the forum have given up trying to keep the place looking decent, so we mostly keep to ourselves. I refuse to become more prejudiced against new members, but when they just keep disappointing me, it's hard to keep my spirits up.

Guilty pleasure: shame isn't something I strongly believe in, but you know those shitty flash games on websites like Addicting Games and Miniclip? I play those things all the time. Burrito Bison, Happy Wheels, Chaos Faction, crap like that. It's because I use a netbook that can't run real games. Heck, it can't even run complicated flash games.

Favourite book would probably be The Hobbit or Ender's Game.

Edit: Lace, I'll add onto the answer for your first question: Music breaks down into numbers. Frequency, time, volume, all that stuff can be measured and you can even make a song mathematically. And then it sounds beautiful. Being able to hear math like that makes me almost appreciate it.

 

Would you rather go on a date with a tornado, or a lightning bolt?
And show your work.


Also, I'm pretty sure you were supposed to open with a basic bio, just to avoid annoying really simple preliminary questions.

 

This might already be common knowledge? But, Captain Fabulous... Why are you Fabulous?

 

Would you rather go on a date with a tornado, or a lightning bolt?
And show your work.

That really depends on how personified these natural phenomena are. For example, a date with a lightning bolt would last about 30 millionths of a second, and that's hardly long enough for her to get my number. I think I'd rather go on a date with a tornado, since they are complex and fascinating products of nature. And sure, they look like whirling towers of destruction, but does anyone ever try to get close to them? No. The closer you get to a tornado, the fiercer the winds become, until you are in the centre. Then you find yourself in a low-pressure tube surrounded by whirling debris that can't touch you. Beautiful.
And I'm not saying lightning bolts are shallow bitches, not by any means. Tornadoes are easier, though.

Also, I'm pretty sure you were supposed to open with a basic bio, just to avoid annoying really simple preliminary questions.

I forgot. Guh, I'm bad at those, but I guess I should put something there.

This might already be common knowledge? But, Captain Fabulous... Why are you Fabulous?

If you're asking where I got the name, that's been answered in these two posts. However, I imagine that if Captain Fabulous were a superhero, his goal would be to make people's lives more fun to live, and to combat boredom and monotony wherever he goes. I do like to inject some fun into situations, so I guess that's where Captain Fabulous, the character, and Captain Fabulous, the forum member, overlap.
Also purple and pink are great colours, seriously.

 

Is there anything you do or put on your food that is considered strange?

 

Do you bite?

 

I guess I'll post a few easy questions.
>If you had to pick a favorite song, what would it be. YouTube links or I'll cut you. If that's too hard, favorite genre?
>What's something you've always wanted to do, but never had the money or free time to?
>Someone is holding a gun to your head, and tells you that you can send one message to someone before you die. Who would you send it to, and what would it say? They wouldn't be able to tell anyone about it or send it to anyone else, so no one else will ever read it.
>You can eliminate one condiment from the universe. What would it be?
>If you had to lose either your sense of taste or your feeling in your hands, which would you pick?
>Swords or Guns? For any reasons or purposes, just show your work.
>Marvel or DC?

 

Is there anything you do or put on your food that is considered strange?

God, I eat the most boring food. Well, I do put pineapple sauce on my rice. I'm really not very good at food. I don't even eat very much of it, because it's either boring or a hassle to prepare.

Do you bite?

No, I am a gentle lover.
Oh, I see what you mean. The justification I usually use is "when it's funny or when someone deserves it." Shady, I know. I've never been a soft and fuzzy person to acquaintances.

1. If you had to pick a favorite song, what would it be. YouTube links or I'll cut you. If that's too hard, favorite genre?
2. What's something you've always wanted to do, but never had the money or free time to?
3. Someone is holding a gun to your head, and tells you that you can send one message to someone before you die. Who would you send it to, and what would it say? They wouldn't be able to tell anyone about it or send it to anyone else, so no one else will ever read it.
4. You can eliminate one condiment from the universe. What would it be?
5. If you had to lose either your sense of taste or your feeling in your hands, which would you pick?
6. Swords or Guns? For any reasons or purposes, just show your work.
7. Marvel or DC?

1. Hm. Favourite song. There are a lot of factors, but this one has stood the test of time so I choose it: A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers. The lyrics are hard to decipher if you don't know that the writer/singer's mother lost her battle with brain cancer.

2. Invent rocket boots. But realistically, become an artist or a musician, which is what I'm trying to do now. I don't have any prior training in drawing or anything musical but it's what I want to do.

3. That's a tough one, because if it weren't for the "they can't tell anyone else" I would tell one of my parents to log on here and notify you all of my demise and leave some touching personal messages (from me, not them) or something. I can't really think if anything... well, I can, but it's one of the few things I'm not willing to share. Sorry.

4. Horseradish because that shit is for assholes.

5. Sense of taste for sure. As stated previously, not a big fan of food. This would be encouragement for me to just stuff whatever's healthy and/or convenient in my mouth.

6.As a personal weapon, guns, because I know how to use some of those and they are, pardon me for saying so, more effective than swords at most ranges (all but 3 feet and closer). Sure, you can argue that swords are graceful and noble and a time-honoured herp de derp, but guns are guns and also more badass unless you are talking about lightsabers.

7. Dark Horse fuck the police

 

Would you rather have a one-seat motorcycle of your choice that never ran out of gas AND A MOTORCYCLE LICENSE, or a four-door sedan of your choice that got 100mpg? The sedan has to be red though.

 

Well uh, I don't often drive people places. Sad but true. It's like I don't even care about the environment. So the advantage of road trips is lost on a loner like me. The motorcycle is the cheaper choice, but I'd much rather drive a car. I'm kinda boring like that, and cars are safer anyway. Red's not the best colour but I'd take the car, even though there are a lot more related expenses than just gas.

 

You've chosen wisely so far.
1. Would you rather have one friend who you're perfectly compatible with, who never tires of spending time with you, or 15 friends who you get along with well, and who have regular life schedule? You are never obligated to hang out with anyone, it's all on your schedule and neither choice will mind if you are a bit antisocial or oversocial.
2. Would you rather be in a relationship with a woman who is a complete pushover but adorably quiet and a bit shy, or one who is charismatic but bossy?

As usual, show your work.