a young avatar stands in their room. it just so happens that today, the 17th of september, 2019, is this young avatar's birthday. though it was thirteen years ago they were given life, it is only today they will be given a name!
their name is evil "metronome" sue. they feel as though they're being named after someone specific, however the identity of this "sue" is something they are not privy to. this being the case, they choose to simply go by "metty".
your name is metty. as previously mentioned, it is your birthday. you keep your room rather tidy. you have a fascination with persian rugs and video games, the latter of which you have a sizeable collection of on your dubiously red bookshelf. your collection of the former is much more modest, however, totaling to the single unit in which you have spread across your floor. it ties the room together, you think. you also have a chest, the contents of which will not be disclosed at this time.
even though it's the middle of september, it's still summer! you make a pitiful attempt at cooling yourself off by flapping your oversized sweater like an idiot. what do you say we open a window, huh?
what a beautiful, picturesque day it is. you could not wish for better weather on such a peaceful day. even the sun, that smug son of a bitch, is out here with his shades. why would a sun need sunglasses? who knows. wait, who is that figure on that hill over there?
you grossly overestimate the length of your arms, and fail to grope the figure.
but then, he tosses what he was holding at you!
you got a copy of blargo dx!!!!!
shit yes! this is the best birthday ever. you're so glad this game is a thing that exists, and is currently stuck to your face. anyway that guy must have been the mailman and so now he doesn't have any further plot significance and ceases to exist.
hold on, someone's texting you.
-- ambitiousPatriot [AP] began chatting with crookedKitten [CK] at 11:38 AM --
AP: yo mets
AP: happy bd CK: hey!!!!
CK: you'll never believe what just came in the mail! AP: is it the absolutely life changing gift i got for you CK: its a copy of blargo dx!!! AP: a simple yes would have worked CK: i cant believe it got here on time!!!! AP: yeah usually it takes a billion fucking years getting shit to the middle of the ocean or wherever the hell you live
AP: but you know your boy plans ahead like that CK: thanks so much!!!!! i cant wait to finally play it!!!!! AP: as much as i would love to sit here and talk about how awesome i am im kinda busy over here
AP: ive got very important business meetings and shit
AP: im on my way to talk to american sports legend charles barkley in hopes of convincing him to star in space jam 2
AP: and this is totally real and not something im making up on the spot right now ok CK: hahah okkkkk
CK: talk to you later!
ya boy is currently busy conducting serious business with american sports legend charles barkley. if he weren't, however, he would inform you that blargo dx doesn't have multiplayer capabilities.
but now that we're here, what should be the name of this young man?
once again, correct! but what is the young man's name, which is inscribed on the nameplate that is ready to sink its teeth into that moist chocolatey dessert?