MLP:FIM Role play

No you dumb homo tool, your ROLEPLAYIN WRONG.
CHRIST,. no look..... FUCK
dude no look no
it's NOT THAT HARD
good lard...
ok yo'ure obvioubly doing this just to PISS ME OF
JESUS DICK

I'll write a thing here later maybe if Lace doesn't first. Which he should.

 

"Lace was in Minneapolis and is going to go to the upper left corner of Massachusetts in an hour or so!" yelps a mysterious voice.
Nonplussed, the ponies continue doing whatever the heck they were just doing.

 

"traitor..."
Heartglass soars silently onward over the murky blue abyss. The voices were getting stronger. It had began a few months ago - then barely a murmer, easily passed of as the whispering of the wind or rustling of leaves - but they gradually became more tangible. Like the ethereal mycelium of some black and tainted fungus, they were burrowing into his mind, taking hold, growing stronger as they fed off of her spirit. So far, he had been able to keep them at bay by immersing herself in violent conflict. Caked in the blood of villains and surging with adrenaline, serving violent justice provided an escape from the constant tugging sensation of guilt in the back of her mind. But it was no use anymore. Nothing stopped it.
"the pilsner...."
One thing kept resurfacing. The Pilsner of Heindunkle. A legendary brew said to take one thousand years to mature, containing immense magical power and incredibly full-bodied with only one hundred calories. Heartglass felt inexplicably drawn to its location. It must be the cure to this torment, and she must find it, or die trying.

"Excuse me, good stalli... Uh, lovely ma... err... Heartglass?"

Another voice, not from within this time but from below, interrupts Heartglass' reverie. The bearded pony was speaking to him in cautious, uncertain tones. "What is it, mortal?" Heartglass inquires.

The pony clears its throat and starts, more confidently now.
"I do not believe we have had the pleasure of being properly introduced. My name is Noxid, and these other two stallions are Carl Blacklops and Minimum Wage." Carl rolls his eyes at the sound of his name coming from Noxid's mouth. "And this mare is.. Well, actually, she is perhaps too modest to say just yet. I'm sure that will change in time." He quickly throws her a peculiar look, as though trying to both wink and raise his eyebrows at the same time. The grey mare appears to not notice it. "I was wondering if you would deign to tell us a little more about yourself, or our quest?"

"Very well." Heartglass begins. "My name is Heartglass Butterscales, and I have been around since a time before memory. I use my might to aid those who are weak and to CRUSH THE STRONG. JUST AS NOW I WILL AID YOU IN CLAIMING THE PRIZE YOU SEEK. THE PILSNER OF HEINDUNKLE IS HIDDEN DEEP WITHIN THE MOUNTAINS OF AUSTRI-"

Carl interrupts. "Hey asshole, you're shouting again." Realizing his outburst, Heartglass takes a moment to regain composure before continuing.
"...trusted you..."
"My apologies. As I was saying, the Pilsner is hidden deep within the mountains of Austria, guarded by ancient wards and fearsome beasts. It will take-"

"Hhhold the fuck up," Heartglass was stopped again, this time by the miserable-looking pony from starbucks that smelled of coffee beans and despair. "I didn't sign up to fight fuckin' monsters here, I want out."

"Certainly. If you'd prefer, I could turn around. I may be able to get you back in time for four o'clock." Wage's features narrowed at this proposition, his mouth pressed to a thin horizontal line. Aversion response. "As I thought. Now, worry not - I shall dispatch any foe that may cross our path. However, more than might is needed to overcome the challenges ahead."

 

"Jesus, Heartgas, that took a hell of a long time." Carl grumbles as he staggers around on the dead grass, struggling to regain his land legs. It's like being drunk without the benefit of being drunk.

"The unexpected delays were not my fault," Heartglass replies. "I delivered us to our destination as quickly as ponily possible."

"No. No, you didn't," came a weak, muffled voice from inside the sack. Minimum had simply collapsed along with the bag upon landing, and up until now, Carl hadn't been sure if he was still alive. "Dropping us into the ocean is not the fastest way across the Atlantic," Minimum continued after taking a few very audible breaths. "You ass," he added.

"You mortals apparently cannot handle a simple flight, so—"

"YOU FLEW THROUGH A PLANE!" Minimum shoots to his feet, still wrapped in the sack. "You tried to carry us through a plane. That is why you dropped us." Standing is apparently too much for him at this point, and the brown lump flattens back into the sack with a groan and a thud.

Heartglass never deviates from his smooth tone. "It is not my fault if something gets in our way and cannot handle the consequences of that. We do not have time to argue about such inconsequential things. You are all still alive, now we must enter the Cave." Heartglass's eyes glow and smoke puffs from her muzzle as he finishes speaking.

"What cave? Why did you capitalize it?" asks Noxid, who has totally been here the whole time, along with Greynbow Dash.

"BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THAT, NOW HALT YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS." Heartglass screams and points at a huge, ominous opening in the mountainside the party landed next to.

"Oh."

Carl took this moment to start caring about his surroundings and look at them. Castle-like turrets and ramparts have been carved into the rock face, and a long, limestone stairway leads up to the cave mouth. It looks like something from Lord of the Thrones. Surely all this must guard something valuable. This Pilsner must be the greatest brew of all time. The coldest one. The beer to end all beers.

That almost makes me want to give a shit about it, Carl thinks to himself. He carefully considers whether or not he cares about this beer.

Nope, not really. Carl certainly wants to drink something, but he'd much rather have a good old American beer than fetch this silly underground pilsner. Still, now that he's in Austria, halfway across the world, Carl doesn't really have anything better to do. Maybe fight a kangaroo, but he doubts Heartglass will stop hounding his ass long enough for that.

 

"God wtf is happening"

 

"Hahaha... Those idiots, thinking they weren't being followed...
Pft. I knew I wouldn't need to hide myself," Darkeye thinks to himself.
...
"At last, I can rid myself of these horrible wings. Thank Luna for temporary hide grafts... And it's not like it's difficult to get the wings. Heheheh....
Anyway...
Ah, yes, the Pilsner. It appears those ponies believe it to be within that cave...
Well, it's worth a shot. I'll just walk right past these idiot ponies, they won't catch me, and it is night, after all..."
...

 

can i join still?

Name: quote
Race: earth pony
Gender: male
Age Group: Mare
Personality: adventurous and heroic
Enjoys: blasting enemys to triangles and doing what is right.

 

no

 

 

Dunc, you have obviously forgotten the true spirit of MLP roleplay. Of course Brycen can join. He will need to introduce his character into the story, though.

 

Oh man this is silly.

 

Only if I get to brainwash him, we don't have enough evil ponies

 

my response is

 

Tragedy has struck. Sadly "quote the male mare earth pony that enjoys blasting enemys to triangles and doing what is right and has an adventurous and heroic personality" will never join the party of heroics due to
to his upset with the party and a blockade of what they call a "perma-ban." However the show must go on!

In the recent installment of the franchise, we were introduced to our party and the ever-so-mysterious "Nick the Camel!" Our party of heroic ponies have landed on an island and are outside a seemingly dangerous cave with the possibility of housing the finest brew that was ever made in the pony planet!

[Author's Note] I probably fucked up the style terribly and the dialogue is not likely to be like what was posted by others earlier

---

"Guess what Carl we're going into this Cave and you're going to like it" Heartglass said to him threateningly.

"Oh my god shut up dude" Carl said without a fuck. "The beer's not worth it."

"Look Carl there's no beer in there." Heartglass mentioned. "I know this because of predestination."

"Can you tell us what's inside the cave?"

"No"

***

Something was off about this cave. As perilous as it seemed, the traps did not seem to go off at all. It was like a movie prop set except the prop man was on break. The continued to wander in the cave untill they met a mysterious shadow...

"Yo." There was a pony with some nice looking shades. In front of him were several items that he was selling. "I'm a salespony around here. What are you guys looking for today?"

"80 shringrods, 10 dinglebobs, Five gumcherries and 7 bizzlebops" Heartglass asked

"...We don't seem to carry any of those items that you mentioned." The salespony said. "However they are only seen in a place so terrifying, so mischevious, so IRRATIONAL, SO HEARTBREAKING, SO SHITTY, SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE STUFF YOU SEE ON THAT ANTHRO SECTION IN THAT ONE WEBSITE, SO---"

[text increases in size as he lists off how bad the place is]
"Dude shut the fuck up" Carl said with a fuck (he still didn't give a fuck at all though)

The salespony nodded, "Yes, the items you are looking for is in the forbidden cave. There's just one problem..."

"What?" all of them said simultaneously.

"It's kind of... forbidden. And for a very good reason. All types of monsters and whatnot."

"Nothing /we/ can't handle" Heartglass said with a passion. "We are actually warriors from another dimension and can easily take on the monsters in the forbidden cave"

"dude wtf" Minimum Wage said "That's not us at all"

"THIS IS MY ADVENTURE MINIMUM WAGE" HEARTGLASS YELLED "WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS MY WAY"

"Fine, I guess. I don't give a fuck. Do whatever you want man" jack said in character.

"Well," the salespony said. He was hesitant with saying the next sentence "whatever you wish. Just note that you guys are on your own and nobody else is going to help you out in there. Sure, we're crazy around here, but we're not /that/ crazy"

"Well thank you for your time good sir" Heartglass the gentleman said. "We will be on our way"

As the party was about to leave Greynbow still had something hanging in her mind, "E-escuse me Sir? Is there any reason why these traps didn't set off at all?"

"It was all a prop dearie, just to scare potential shoplifters." the salespony said. "Now you just go on your way like the rest of the ponies"

The party began to set forth to the forbidden forest.

***

"The deed is done, my lord"

"You are a great servent. Now these ponies will fall into my devious trap. MuahahAHAHAHA"

"MreheheHEHEHE"

 

I say we revive this and use http://ponylumen.net/ this

 

I don't think anyone here can clop hard enough to keep this thing alive.
3D ponies are the way of the future though.

Edit: I changed my mind, I'm 100% for the revival of this thread using 3D pony creator 9000.
Meet Joseph Holyfuck, the prettiest pony.

 

My Little Abomination: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is Magic

 

Damn the body weight slider will only go so far

 

How will we fulfill our fat and inflation fetishes now

 

Inflation or not, it's still a good way to spend 10 minutes