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Misery and Balrog's Relationship

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Jul 11, 2010 at 12:41 AM
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#1
It's not made perfectly clear in the game, but much is implied. We don't really know where the hell Balrog came from or why he stuck around for so long. The subject was touched upon in this thread, but the discussion was insufficient for me. I have a wild theory that I only deem worthy of posting because it's more interesting than "He is a robat who is also Misery's frand."

Jenka imprisoned Ballos on the Island, along with the Core, for being a crazy motherfucker. Before this, he was a good citizen that had everybody's best interest at heart. Misery, on the other hand, was the power-hungry sorceress type, who wanted to be as or more powerful than her uncle. Maybe it's like the Force, where evil can never be as powerful as good, or maybe she just wasn't talented enough, or maybe she was too distracted by her lover, Balrog.

Yes.
They were lovers.
Now, before you get the Internet Rule 34 Machine all warmed up, let me explain.

Waaay back then, Balrog was human. Maybe he had a less retarded name, too. Misery (who really did have that stupid name) and Balrog were deeply in love, and they were going to get married and everything. You see, for the most part, Misery was heartless and greedy, but she had an enormous soft spot for Balrog.

However, before they could get married, all this shit about her uncle exploding kind of put off the marriage plans. Poor Misery and Balrog. There was also the fact that Balrog was severely injured in the storm of magic Ballos unleashed, and would have died if Misery didn't intervene. She magically preserved his brain and put it in some kind of awesome steampunk robot. Unfortunately, it was a box-shaped steampunk robot (they weren't that advanced). Their love could never be the same again, but at least they had each other.
All this disappointment put Misery in the mood for taking over the kingdom that Ballos had so inconveniently destroyed, conveniently making it ripe for takeover, but she still wasn't a very good sorceress.

Now, Good Ballos would never have agreed to make something like the Demon Crown. However, after he went insane and got shoved in a floating ball of dirt, Misery saw an opportunity and took it. She flew up there on Balrog, did Hell in 5'43"6 (without the boss fight, that's not very good, but it was her first time), and convinced Crazy Ballos to make the Crown. It enslaved her and Balrog, who she had an extremely strong emotional connection to. This kind of makes sense. Use your imagination.

Misery and Balrog were cursed to do the Crown Bearer's bidding. The curse was particularly harsh on Misery because of her strong magic powers, bitchy personality and stupid name.

At least they had each other, right?

Lots can change in a couple thousand years. It's hard to stay in love that long, especially when you are engaged to a toaster. So this explains their relationship. They appear to be bitter rivals at first, but their understanding of each other goes much deeper than that, even if they broke up a really fucking long time ago.

MAN THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS.

Now, you might think this is ridiculous:
Captain Fabulous said:
She magically preserved his brain and put it in some kind of awesome steampunk robot.
It's the best I could come up with. Deal with it, or improve it.
 
Jul 12, 2010 at 7:35 AM
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#2
Running with your theory I do not think that they broke up but rather that Misery failed in transferring her husband's memory and Balrog was reverted to a childlike mental state. Misery most likely had the crown made so she could turn him Human again and revert him to his original mental state.

Furthermore it is shown in the title screen that Misery and Balrog hybernated between bearers, most likely not willingly, so despite being around for hundreds of years it is unlikly that Misery experienced many of them. Misery isn't as powerful as Jenka or Ballos so it is unlikely that Misery would share Jenka's extended lifespan or Ballos' near immortality.
 
Jul 12, 2010 at 11:03 AM
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#3
I always thought Balrog was a living lifeform instead of a robot.
 
Jul 12, 2010 at 11:31 AM
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#4
Rofl That would be weird
 
Jul 12, 2010 at 7:16 PM
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#5
Sounds like a solid theory, Andwhy. You'd think that Misery would simply hate Balrog for not being Balrog. While they were able to interact, however, Misery started liking the new Balrog a bit, which is why she no longer treats him with downright hostility. Instead, she just takes out her ancient rage on him from time to time.
 
Jul 14, 2010 at 7:27 PM
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#6
I think it doesn't need to be said, it's way too obvious. Yes, Balrog and Misery really were lovers. However how they expressed their love was never truly explained. It was left for our imaginations...
 
Jul 15, 2010 at 3:50 AM
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#7
WoodenRat said:
... [insert anything you've wondered about CS here] was never truly explained. It was left for our imaginations...
which is why we have an entire board dedicated to theories.
 
Jul 15, 2010 at 10:50 AM
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#8
Metruler1990 said:
which is why we have an entire board dedicated to theories.
It was a reference to them expressing their love anally ;_;
 
Jul 18, 2010 at 6:12 PM
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#9
I've always thought of them as a sort of brother-sister relationship. They mess with each other all the time, pleasure themselves at the other's misfortune, and bicker the crap out of each other. It would explain why both Balrog and Misery are affected by the Crown, seeing as they're related, yet Jenka was more powerful and wouldn't be affected even though she was Misery's mother.

While Misery is the only known child of Jenka, and there is no reference saying Balrog is a child of Jenka, he may have been adopted. If I remember, there was another character like Balrog, Pooh Black, as well as the beta enemies of generic Balrog. That must mean Balrog is a race all to his own, and couldn't have been "made" like is suggested.

Also, while that would mean Balrog attacked his mother, the Crown forced him to do it. Besides, it is said that Jenka and Misery aren't on best terms either, so she isn't innocent here either.
 
Jul 18, 2010 at 7:45 PM
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#10
Maybe Misery made Balrog as a punching bag to ease her misery, and eventually warmed up to her golem?
 
Jul 18, 2010 at 8:49 PM
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#11
100killer9 said:
Maybe Misery made Balrog as a punching bag to ease her misery, and eventually warmed up to her golem?
I like the Captain's idea better -_-

(It's probably because of the great storytelling)

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
:D;):):);););):););):D
:););):(;););):(;);):)
:););):);););):););):)
:D;);):);););):););):D
:D:D;);):D:D:D;);):D:D
 
Jul 19, 2010 at 3:41 AM
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#12
Don't ever do that again.
 
Jul 19, 2010 at 3:23 PM
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#13
Yes Sir, Captain Crunch Fabulous
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 12:35 AM
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#14
While Your theory, Captain Fabulous, is... possibly more romantic, I repectfully disagree, and present my own theory of how Balrog and Misery met, and eventually worked together, Using whatever I can get from the game itself (which, granted, is feeble at best, but is generally the only 'facts' I can count on), and the conclusions I have drawn for myself. I hope it is too your liking, and await the inevitable pointing out of holes.

Now, 10 Years ago, as we know, there was a great robot zerg rush for The Demon crown, which puts us right near the end of the Third King's (Miakid) reign. Since back then, there were more native humans on the Floating Island, it's not hard to think how the Surface heard of the thing. Now, as we see throughout the game (Balrog has missiles, can fly for short periods, is incredibly stong and eventualy gets wings), I think it's safe to say why Balrog was created - He was made as a support unit, to get a large number of scout robots to the Floating Island, as quickly and as stealthily as possible, get the crown and then get off the island again. Balrog is given repair duties (throughout the game he gets stronger and stronger, presumably due to his functions slowly repairing themselves rather than 'I held back for teh lulz'), And generally is designed more around being more of a Swiss Army robot than the 'I'm totally not a robot' scout teams. Which is why he is basically a giant box. The Development team for 'Project: Screw The World I Want My Demon Crown' was probably consisting of Professor Booster and Prof Itoh, and I wouldn't rule out Sue's family being involved, as well as some relevent biological information being aquired from Mr. Date for their 'I'm a human, honest!' robots, namley Quote and Curly being the first ones built, and the most human-looking ones.

Also, I like to think during Balrog's development, Something went a little ary and he wouln't activate, or respond to anything they tried, so they resorted to screaming "HUZZAH!" at him in an attempt to activate him via sonal recognision, otherwise known as 'the hells that noise better wake up and stop it', hence his catchphrase. Extra irony if Itoh was the one that came up with the idea, mostly because then this shy and cowardly guy just made the most boistourous, loud and probably fairly obnoxious robot ever. So anyway, back to things I can try to actually prove, They generally pack several robots in a box or something and send Balrog (or Balrogs - there is no mention of there possibly being other Balrogs, apart from the appearance Pooh Black, that ghost thing in the labyrinth, takes. It can be assumed they all died horribly if there were others.) to the Flotaing continent.

I assume next that they make their base in GrassTown (considering all the fans and the explosive munitions factory you go to too free Sues brother), And then split up into Two squads - The squad that wants to take the Demon crown (the robots that go around Killing all the mimigas and humans), And Quote and Curly (who go to destory the Demon Crown). Balrog, seeing that Quote and Curly have no adequate support or even adequate equipment for whatever they are doing, goes with them (because his function is support, and they need it more than the group that will eventually zerg rush to their death in The Core's room). Now, generally somewhere along the line they get seperated, and Balrog goes exploring on his own trying to find his lost comrades, eventually attracting the ire of Misery (who, at the time, was the only minion the Third King had available for robot cleanup duty, apart from his Plan B, which was 'Go out and kill the gun-toating killer Robots with a sword and some questionably usefull magic').

This would explain why Misery doesn't immedeatly recognise either Quote or possibly Curly in game - since they were both different (Albino coloured instead of the grey robots or the blue robots encountered in the labyrinth/egg corridor, looking plausibly human enough to warrant a 'Human trying to protect Mimigas' excuse and so not get Misery's attention due to her duty being to kill off robot-looking robots.) and not present at the time. Naturally they fight, I guess Balrog wins or at least gets away by jumping through the island like he does in all the cutscenes we see him in. I guess misadventures follow, and, probably after several increasingly fustrating battles with Misery (Balrog both annoys her constantly with his peppy, backtalking personality and persists in being very good at living, But I doubt he fought with her too much - They fought enough times for Misery to know transforming Balrog into a frog was a bad idea, but not enough for Misery to simply banish Balrog to the Labyrinth for being an annoying pest), and he eventually stumbles across the Demons Palace (the throne room where the crown is kept).

Now, During this time the Third King is probably done having a rumble with Quote and Curly Brace, Who he probably thinks were humans who attempted to end his sensless war by defecting and killing him, And both robots are extremly damaged, Quote more so than Curly. Then, after seeing Balrog literally break down the door, He realises that the Robots are here for the Crown, Teleports Quote and Curly Brace to what he believes will be their doom (The First cave Quote, now completely unarmed and at 3 health, wakes up in is essentialy one enterance to the Labyrinth, guarded by the eye Door that reports to Miakid, Having no idea that the Hermit Gunsmith took refuge in there before the war, and Curly gets dropped into the death trap that is the Sand zone, and gets looked after by some Mimiga kids who probably believe she's just a human who got banished there for trying to help their kind.) and enters combat. Balrog probably wins by firing several super missiles at his face while he's trying to slice Balrog apart with a sword. Miakid realises that, If he can't beat Balrog, he'd just cheat and make him join him.

Que magic that makes Balrog take excessive damage, damaging some memory about Quote and Curly and the attack robots he probably helped, although not forgetting all the details about his misadeventure, and then binds Balrog to the Demon crowns service. Well, that was easy for Miakid. And then Arthur, who had been killing robots left and right with nothing but very sharp sticks with spikes tied to them and and a fistfull of red flowers in reserve should he need them, comes out from behind the guys throne, steals Miakid's sword, and then beheads the King while he's still standing around like an idiot (Balrog, being recently enslaved to the crown, doesn't do anything, And anyway he didn't like the guy, and Misery is probably off taking a dirt nap somewhere, pretending to have not have heard her summons and in no way, shape, or form had teleported Arthur into the throne room so this could have happened), making his head land cleanly on his vile throne in the position we see in the opening of the game. Hence how the Mimigas got ahold of that sword, Which for convieniance I'll name The Sword Of Kings and pretend it had the magical capabilites to allow it to behead a Demon Crown wearer. (The sword seems to have some form of magic that binds it's previous master to it to aid it's current wielder in battle - It would explain how Arthur Killed the Red Demon with it, and how King would later one-shot Balrog with the thing, and how you can summon King with the sword at max level.) Assumably Miakid's body dissolves into dust particles while exploding and expeling light everywhere like some boss out of Final Fantasy.

Now Balrog and Misery spend 10 years in Demon Crown induced Limbo. You can imagine Balrog's responce to being partnered with the resident Little Miss Sunshine, Misery, and the subsiquent arguments they had over 10 years of floating aimlessly around the throne room. Thankfully for Misery, Mr. Date comes along and pinches the crown of Miakid's skull, making said skull instantly turn into said explosive, rave-party inducing dust. Not taking a hint, he wears the thing and frees the two. Fortuantly, the Crown pretty much stops Misery outright murdering Balrog for being an annoying jerk, which he probably caught off her, And besides, Misery is only now mildley annoyed at Balrog's continued physical exsistance and decides to apply lethal doeses of sarcasm to her conversations with Balrog, mostly because it usually flies way over his head, and doesn't get a short joke as a responce. Cue Tsundere Misery relation to Balrog, who is total oblivious, all the time, to almost everything but a block being dropped on his head.

They begin with the 'Hey lets go and see who can capture the most Mimigas' thing, with Misery often cheating and stealing Balrogs Mimigas to make him look incompetant enough to hopefully get him killed for it. It doesn't work, and Misery gets a taste of Date's pimp hand later for when this backfires spectaculary, much to Balrog's amusment, as Quote wakes up soon and goes through the events of the game. Eventually Misery realises that Quote is her ticket to freedom, Probably after the part where the Doctor turned her into a sort of Were-Dog thing, then getting basically batted aside with Spur bullets so Quote can kill the Undead Core, and then seeing him go to the house that leads to the Sacred Temple (Where Ballos is sealed), Finally stops being a jerk and turns off her Tsun qualities, puts on some Dere and sweet-talks Balrog into going and saving Quote's hide as an excelent Xantos Gambit to never see his big, smug, robotic face ever again.
She has good reason to do so, too, as in the credits she's definatly a full head taller than she was in game. So basically Misery had been going through Witch puberty/adulthood in the body of a child (in game Misery is about as tall Quote and Sue), which generally explains why she was a jerk most of the time. Reference Sprites for your persual.
Oh, and Balrog gets to live with Quote and Curly for the rest of his days as the team mascot, Leaving Cave story a blatant Sequel hook, maybe with protaganist Misery.
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:27 AM
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#15
@Nightmarebros: tl;dr, but with that much behind your theory, you really ought to write a fanfiction.
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:39 AM
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#16
Hmm... well this seems quite well thought out and plausible. As far as holes, I don't see anything major. There's just a couple things you could clarify a bit more:

The Development team for 'Project: Screw The World I Want My Demon Crown' was probably consisting of Professor Booster and Prof Itoh, and I wouldn't rule out Sue's family being involved, as well as some relevent biological information being aquired from Mr. Date for their 'I'm a human, honest!' robots, namley Quote and Curly being the first ones built, and the most human-looking ones.
It doesn't really make sense that Quote/Curly would have been built by the development team for P:STWIWMDC (I'm turning into DragonBoots, it would seem :p) since they were trying to destroy the Crown.

And I don't understand what you mean by The Doctor turning Misery into a "Were-Dog".

Anyway welcome to the forums! There's been some talk around here that the forums are deteriorating due to new members being shallow/not thinking before they type/being unable to have a serious conversation/etc, but clearly that's not the case with you!

And I second what GIRaka said; maybe just give it a try and see what happens :)
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 2:24 AM
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#17
GIRakaCHEEZER said:
@Nightmarebros: tl;dr, but with that much behind your theory, you really ought to write a fanfiction.
i did read it, and yeah, that would make a great fanfic
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:26 PM
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#18
Thanks for the kind welcome, everyone!

now, I'll try to answer some of the questions you have about my theory:

It doesn't really make sense that Quote/Curly would have been built by the development team for P:STWIWMDC since they were trying to destroy the Crown.
Well, generaly that seems the case, due to there being almost no evidence ingame to say they were built with all the robots. It's possible, mind, that Quote and Curly were originally going to not be kiler robots - after all, out of all the robots we see in game, they look the most human, so we can assume they were built with different agendas in mind before the blueprints for them got sent to mass-produce little scout warbots. Maybe it was Booster trying to go 'screw the rules, I have technology!' and break half the laws of robotics by making a reaaallly human robot couple, so that hazardous jobs (to humans) could be done by robots instead (who, say, won't die from excessive carbon dioxide or drown due to their bubbles.), and when they found out that their babies were going to be confiscated by whoever wanted mass produced killer robots, they probably programmed Quote and Curly's mission to be different from the rest and willing sent them to 'assist' in getting the Crown.


I don't understand what you mean by The Doctor turning Misery into a "Were-Dog".
Well, during the battle with the Undead core, Misery gets turned into that... monsterous thing that looks suprisingly like a dog (it has a tail, it has the same head-shape as the other in-game dogs, has basically the same 'unconcious' sprite). Now, I have my own cracky theories about why that is (Misery being Jenka's daughter, Jenka owning lots of dogs, Misery maybe having a small dog phobia that involves the reason Misery's albino instead of causcian/black/yellow-orange-ish like her mother and uncle, as I seriously doubt Misery was born albino and without a nose), But the sprite looks like some sort of hybrid between a werewolf and one of Jenka's dogs. So I dubbed it a Were-Dog. You could say that Sue was transformed into a Were-Mimiga during the same battle.
Sprite reference:

Also, as a bonus, Causcian/black/whatever colour Misery:


Also yes I imagine non-Albino misery with green hair, mostly as a development gag (albino misery's talking box sprite having green hair while sprite misery having blue hair). And yes she was born with red eyes. It's a family genetic trait, I belive - Ballos has one red eye, hopefully being born with it and not having it inflicted on him. Jenka was lucky/unlucky enough to be born with a normal pair of eyes.
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 3:04 PM
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#19
Ah yes, that makes more sense now (to both points). It's weird to think of Misery with any other skin then the ridiculously pale skin she has ingame lol.
 
Jul 30, 2010 at 4:12 PM
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#20
She looks like Sue's cousin with the dark skin.
 
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