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Kageryushin’s Infamous Sermon Upon Yanderekology.

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Jun 3, 2009 at 5:31 AM
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#1
Now then, I think it’s about time we began our course. Many of you should already be aware of who I am, but in the classroom you will address me as “Professor Kageryushin.” I, Professor Kageryushin, am temporarily hijacking this forum in the name of higher learning using the prestigious abilities of my e-diploma in Yanderekology, so please, take your seats and prepare for the lesson. You will not require any materials for this course, so please come as you are. Be aware that the nature of the material contained within this lecture is subject to alterations depending on the situations of the individuals involved; thus, while this will provide a basis for your understanding, it is by no means a set in stone guide. Also, if you wish, please review Wikipedia's article on yandere so as to have a basic understanding of the subject before we begin. So, without further ado, we will now proceed.



When obsession wins over love and you've got yourself an immensely affectionate stalker instead of a girlfriend, you have a yandere on your hands. These are the kind of girls that break into your house while you’re away, hide under your bed while you’re at home, schlick directly under you while you sleep, come out when you’re gone again, schlick again in your bed while licking and humping your pillows, and then proceed to check your messages to see if you’re involved with another girl. They usually don't have any kind of higher ideal or ethical policy; they sometimes don't even view themselves as people so much as an entity made out of the impulse or desire to be with their man. A yandere is awesome because it’s outwardly impossible to tell that the girl is completely insane; she has just enough presence of mind left over to maintain a convincing façade, and God help everyone around her if she decides to drop it. If you don’t react well, things could get messy, so in the off chance you don’t want to enjoy the fruits of your yandere‘s darker exploits, here’s several things you need to take into account.

1. Remember your objectives:
-Survive.
-Her mental integrity should be kept at a reasonable level and maintained.
-She should still love you unconditionally.

2. Be sure to remind her how much you love her and basically compliment her as you would any women. Be careful about criticism, though, because she’ll probably go a little over the top in attempting to fix this problem, and if she can‘t, she‘ll try to fix your perceptions of this problem instead. When prompted, re-affirm your hatred of those other skanky, dirty whores. Putting down other people is fun anyway, right?

3. When she starts talking nonsense, she is being put under stress. This stress is based on the belief that you are being unfaithful or planning on leaving her. Pacify her with constant, unadulterated attention and sex. Remember that one of the best things about yandere is that they’re completely devoted to you, so why shouldn’t you return at least some of the favor? This entire fiasco can be summed up in a single line: “It’d be great if he was nice and looked only at me. Yes, only at me… He can’t look at any other girls. I’d look only at him, so he should look only at me. It‘s only fair, right?”

4. Contact with the opposite sex in public should be kept to a bare minimum -- the assumption should be that she IS watching. When she’s with you and you talk to other women, she’ll either flaunt you in front of them or discourage prolonged conversation. In either situation you should play along, expressing your undying love for your yandere all the way. In the latter one you should cut off contact as soon as she gives a prompt to do so. Occasionally she’ll become openly hostile to women she finds you speaking with, so diffuse that bomb before it explodes. Female relatives may or may not be accepted by the yandere, though for the sake of her façade she‘ll usually ignore them.

5. Yandere only ever overstep their boundaries if you’re overstepping yours, maintaining a façade of perfection elegantly - and scarily - up until the point where it must be dropped, and even then, they are often very forgiving, even coming with warning signs if you look for them. If she’s becoming a “nuisance,” think of something to occupy her; the yandere likes to do things for you, so keep her busy doing chores that make her feel she is strengthening the relationship. This is one of the best parts about the yandere since she’ll spoon feed you if you ask her to and she won’t even see it as strange, so basically all you need to do is give her chores. This is pretty damned simple. Anyone with half a brain can get someone else to do everything for them. Again, this is one of the yandere’s greatest pros: -20 in sanity in exchange for +20 in homemaking.

6. Yandere are not opposed to safe sex, but they are opposed to mechanical means of birth control. It's not because they enjoy sex physically more than any other girl, it's because they view sex more as a spiritual ritual in which they become closest to combining with their loved one; she will always demand sex to be as raw as possible. If birth control is desired, they will generally have no problem taking the pill and consider condoms to be a barrier to achieving oneness with you.

7. A yandere will never, ever share you, nor will she accept any kind of rival; to her, other girls are nothing but enemies. Yandere don't feel the kind of isolation some normal girls might, and so will never believe themselves to be different or special to other girls. To a yandere, other girls have the same filthy desires and conniving thoughts as she does, which is why she loathes other girls so much; she firmly believes other girls are out to steal her loved one. If two yandere met over the same guy, they would launch a war that wouldn't end until one of them was dead. No mercy, no surrender.

8. The yandere will almost never rape her loved one if they are still outside of a relationship. The yandere will attempt to attract you using conventional means, as the yandere believes from her own upbringing and education that this is the correct method for getting her man. If she knew she could get you by raping you at gun-point, she would do so immediately.

9. When it comes to your yandere killing someone, the only thing that needs to be asked is, “did she clean up well?” Oh, right, she’s a yandereko, of COURSE she did. What the hell are you complaining about? I mean, these things should be expected, you know. If there’s little to no chance of the killing being traced back to you or your yandere, there is no dilemma.

10. I think that sometimes the attraction to yandere is based on the childish, idealized belief that your love can cure her. PFFT. This is DANGEROUSLY NAIVE. "Cure" her? Why would you want that? Her being an obsessive, potentially-dangerous psychotic is the whole POINT. To say someone finds such a person attractive out of some misguided belief they can "fix" them is like saying a "chubby chaser" finds big women attractive out of some belief that he can get them in shape, when really he just really likes the fatties. In all likelihood the stress of a relationship would make her psychosis even worse. Yandere are crazy and there's no way to make them feel at ease, and if you think you can then you'll end up with either you or her dead, possibly both.

11. There is a fan phrase that goes as “tops from bottom.” Consider what it might mean. Many yandere merely want their most important person to love them as much as possible, and to this end will try to make their beloved happiest by doing whatever they want, which is pretty submissive. However, recall that she's allowing you--nay, demanding that you use her body as physical proof of the depth of her unconditional love for you. On the other hand, there are certain yandere that'll tie you up for no reason other than to trap you however they can so as to keep you all to themselves. This put into perspective, be wary of considering the yandere a “doormat” sort of girl, because if you do, it’s very likely that the doormat is going to be walking all over you.

12. Be aware that not all yandere are completely lucid in their perception of your fidelity, often adopting the assumption that you have forsaken her for another woman without any cause for belief at all, thrusting you into a less “boring” position at the drop of a hat. Do not make the mistake of taking the “not cheating” aspect lightly. She shuns any contact with the opposite sex and dedicates herself to be the perfect wife for you and you alone... and if you don't do the same SHE WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU.

 
Jun 3, 2009 at 5:33 AM
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#2


Now that you’ve won the affections of one of these very, very insane women, you surely want to know how this benefits you, right? Well…

LOYAL: She will never --- NEVER --- betray you. Even when you're dead.

LOVING: She knows the meaning of true love like no other girl, or even you, will ever know. Some of the love is for your own good.

CARING: She takes her entire budget of caring and places it all on you. Other people are... irrelevant.

PROTECTIVE: No bad fortune, villian, or evil conniving cheap slut will be allowed to have their ways with you for long.

HATRED: For other girls as pure as the darkness between the stars.

DETERMINED: She will never --- NEVER --- give up. Even if you end up hating her for it. She’ll never let you down, either.

OBSESSIVE: There is pretty much no limit to how far she'll go just to get your attention. Once you go yandere, you can’t go back.

BRUTAL: Why should she go easy on those who threaten to steal you away from her?

PROACTIVE: Friends? Family? Better get rid of them before they start taking up precious time you could be spending with her.

DETESTING: Everyone that isn't you.



Besides a very, very affectionate partner, there are plenty of ways to have fun using her unique features. For example, pick some girl you know likes you, give her your phone number and ask her to call you. Put yourself in a position in which you are with your yandere and open to being approached by this girl. Then confide in your yandere how this girl won't leave you alone. Count the days until this girl disappears or stops communicating with you entirely. If the yandere decides to kill her “rival” right in front of you, marry her as soon as rationally possible.

Speaking of my own personal methods for dealing with yandere that might not work for some people, when a girl I’ll accept becomes yandere for me, I become yandere for her. That's right, all that crazy shit. No looking at other men, not allowed to leave my presence for more than 3 hours, etc. I’ll stalk my precious yandere all the time and make sure no other men can get near her. Well, at least at first.

The problem with continuing this practice is that you can't out yan the yandere. It would only drive her to a higher state of mental instability. Think about it - you're stalking her everyday. She realizes it's YOU who's the third person walking by her to the grocer's, or getting her car fixed, or chatting with the neighbors as people jog by. She starts wondering, "does he think me unfaithful? But... but that's impossible. It's just him I care for - only him!"

Then the attempts to reassure herself begin. More painful, scarring sex play, just to let you know "this body is only for you." No matter how violent or messy, she does it with a broken smile. The meals become dull as she starts going out less and ordering in more. Minor things she can pick up from faceless stores to show you that she doesn't NEED other people, so long as she has you. The artwork of herself she leaves in your desk at work (should you bother to show, as you're so busy being full of her and dumping bodies of the ones who'd dare even glance...). The jagged crying night sessions - tears spilling down her face as she smiles delightfully, her voice full of laughter as she takes on any abuse, just for you.

The moment of broken screaming when she realizes despite all this devotion, you STILL don't trust her.

And then you walk in one day and find that she's jammed the biggest kitchen knife she could find into her sexual organs. That tearful, joy-filled face saying, “you know, darling, you were right, my thoughts were impure and clouded by other faces, so I punished myself, but now it's fine. I’ve punished those involved, too, those evil people that caught me in my moment of weakness…”

The police will be over in the evening to arrest you both on the collection of bodies in the basement unless you had already prepared an escape route for different but similar reasons. So yeah, you need a cut-off point for being yandere to your yandere.

DOUBLE YANDERE LOVE IS THE TRUEST LOVE.

Ahem. Excuse me.

Point is, give them too much love and they'll begin feeling unworthy of you; it won't matter how many times you reassure them that they're perfect, they'll constantly feel not up to your love. Eventually they'll take for granted that you're betraying them because every other woman is better than them, and shit will degenerate rather quickly. Still, if you treat them badly they will still consider that a gesture of affection, so it's the same shit. Getting them pregnant may possibly be the correct answer. They'll focus their attention on your love's "fruit" and that will wash away many of their insecurities as long as you spend enough time with both them and your child. You'd have to make sure she's not seeing your son as you though, or things may get really hot, if you know what I mean.

Ah, yes, the question of children, a problem with no easy answer. In general, yandere would make poor mothers, and the child would be at constant risk of being targeted by the yandere's psychotic episodes. The yandere may very well reject the child and see it as competition. It's not impossible, however, with enough care from her man. Some yandere object to the idea of children because they see themselves as beings which must not bear new life, but other yandere may be quite open to it, or even feel they would want it as irrefutable proof of your love. Regardless, they will bow to the wishes of their loved one, so it's something that would take some struggling at first, but will probably work out in the end.

In an entirely different case, if you really and truly want to dispose of your yandere, that means you didn’t want her in the first place, and that means we’re not alike. Disposing of a yandere is kind of like taking a cat that you’ve raised from birth and putting it into a blender. Granted, nothing gives me more pleasure than buying a newborn kitten from the animal shelter, taking it home, putting it in a blender with the top off, pressing the button and watching its guts fly around the room just to hear that one little "MEW" before its lungs are shredded by the blades, but I definitely couldn’t do that to a cat I’m attached to, and especially not to my precious, precious yandere.

There is no guaranteed method to stop a yandere, but the most reliable action is certain, definite death, and even that is not infallible even when it has initially succeeded. Do not expect any obstacle, whether it be public authorities, the distance between nations, or what have you, to be able to hold back or contain a yandere: she has all the tools and skills she needs to get to you, and she will focus all that is herself into achieving her goals in relation to you - pretty much the only goals she has.

Yandere are resourceful, and the only way she’ll die in any manageable fashion is if she submits to death by your hand or is caught completely off guard. The only way she can be caught off guard is if she doesn’t suspect your betrayal at all and thus hasn’t planned ahead so that in such a situation she can entrap you and force you (or your corpse) into a position where she has the (sexual) advantage, so keep in mind that she may have a trap set for you or otherwise some sort of auxiliary plan.

It’s strange to me why you choose to fight her when you could just live with her in perfect harmony, her doing anything in her power to bring you joy, but to each his own, I suppose. The entire affair of being with a yandere is filled with mind games involving you directing her in the way you want her to go and her forcing you into the position she desires you to be in: that is, with her. In any case, what I’m speaking of is not a set in stone description of a yandere, but a general one to be used as a basis for your understanding. Yandere, while pristine and submissive outwardly, will become infinitely oppressive if you even remotely imply that you abhor their methods. Her aura of serenity can be shredded apart instantaneously if she wills it, replaced by an air of cold, mechanical desire. Though you can tell her of your disapproval and force her to promise that she’ll never do so-and-so yandere activity ever again, it is merely a lie through their teeth, and you have merely warned them that they must be more stealthy in their actions. No matter what you do, you will never be able to make them stop, even if they fully understand the immorality of their actions as well as your position: they will merely think to themselves, “Oh dear, how awful of me to let my beloved see how filthy I really am… He doesn’t deserve that, I just have to keep him from seeing me like that ever again!”

 
Jun 3, 2009 at 5:34 AM
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#3
To put into perspective the widely varying personages of the yandere, I have prepared several case studies for you on some of my favorite subjects. WARNING: GIGANTIC SPOILERS THE SIZE OF CAPTAIN FABULOUS’ SAND-FILLED VAGINA BELOW.



Kaede Fuyou - Shuffle!

Perhaps the character that got me into yandere in the first place, though, for a yandere, she is very low level and not incredibly dangerous, and especially not to the protagonist, Rin, after a certain turning point in her backstory. Still, the psychosis is definitely there. Kaede and Rin were acquainted at a young age. After Kaede’s mother died in a car accident along with Rin’s parents when they were both in elementary school, partially due to her wanting them to come back home earlier than they were meant to, Kaede lost the will to continue living and was reduced to a pseudo-comatose state. Rin, now parentless, was adopted into the Fuyou family, and unable to endure seeing Kaede in such a state, convinced her that it was actually his fault that his parents and her mother attempted to come home early. Equipped with this false knowledge, Kaede was able to bring herself back to total consciousness with a new purpose in life: to hate Rin absolutely. To this end, she would torment him every moment she was able, taking all opportunities she could to hurt him in any way possible: strangling him, wrecking his things, almost stabbing his eye out with a box cutter, locking him outside while it was heavily raining, etc. However, no matter what Kaede did, Rin would never blame her for her actions.

However, after discovering a vital piece of evidence during her early middle school years that revealed to her that it was she herself who was responsible for making her mother attempt to come home early, thus causing her death, she finally came to the realization that it was her fault that Rin’s parents were killed. Stunned by this knowledge, she atoned for her brutal treatment of the one who had saved her from the horrible state she had been in by devoting herself completely to him. Rin thought that it was just her way or trying to forgive herself, but what he failed to realize was that, much like hating him had been her sole reason for existing after her mother died, now her reason for existing revolved completely around him.

Shuffle! is not a particularly stunning VN, and though it is pretty good, there’s nothing remarkable about it as far as eroge go. The anime is likewise adequate, though it suffers from the problem of starting by adapting the good harem route but abandoning it halfway through, substituting it for a fusion between Asa’s and Kaede’s routes. Frankly, both these routes are boring. That is, until the anime started to show Kaede slowly crack as Rin chose Asa over her, slowly abandoning the girl who had taken care of him since long ago while she symbiotically survived because his happiness was what kept her going. There were various signs detailing Kaede’s degrading mental state, though she skillfully hid them from all but Primula, her understudy. This all culminated in an attack on Asa, unintentionally causing Asa’s bizarre magical diabetes thing to take effect. To be blunt, Kaede is the one that MAKES the anime good. To describe why Asa is a failure as a heroine compared to Kaede, allow me to abridge her plotline in the following two gigantic sentences.

I'M GONNA DIE IF I DON'T USE MAGIC, AND EVERYONE WANTS ME TO USE MAGIC SO I DON'T DIE, BUT I WON'T USE MAGIC BECAUSE I'M HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND EVERYONE KNOWS I'M NOT HUMAN, BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT I'M HUMAN, SO THAT I CAN BE HUMAN AROUND EVERYONE, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO I'LL JUST DIE LIKE A FUCKING RETARD RIGHT HERE OK?

OMG, MY BOYFRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF SO I SAVE HIM BY USING MAGIC, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WANT TO USE MAGIC, BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE KNOWS THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE DOESN'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO THEREFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF TO MAKE ME NOT HUMAN EVEN WHEN I BELIEVE THAT I AM HUMAN, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE NOT HUMAN, AND SO THAT I CAN JUST DIE LIKE A RETARD, JUST LIKE HE JUST DID BUT HE'S OK BECAUSE I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE STILL LOVES ME SO I'LL JUST GO SUCK HIM OFF NOW AFTER MY MUCH-HOTTER-THAN-ME MOM GIVES ME A HAIR CUT WHICH MAKES ME LESS ATTRACTIVE.

In any case, Asa is left in a magically-induced comatose state at the end of the anime. After this incident, Rin informs Kaede that he will be moving out of the house that they had shared since childhood, much to her dismay. In a last ditch effort to bring Rin back to her, Kaede tries to convince him to have sex with her since Asa will be out of commission for an unknowable amount of time, but he refuses to cheat on Asa in such a way. Finally acknowledging Asa and Rin as a couple, Kaede tearfully apologizes to Rin for putting Asa into the condition she is in. Rin accepts her apology, knowing it was not entirely her fault. And that pretty much sums up the ending of the series. I like to think that Kaede was lying through her teeth about accepting Asa and Rin together, and, after the end of the series, she snuck into Asa’s hospital room and found a way to kill her without notice. Rin, in despair, turns back to Kaede for comfort, and events carry things full circle to how they were at the beginning of the series: both of them living in the same household, Kaede's father approving of her and Rin marrying, and the latter playing a role not unlike that of a housewife. There's one fundamental difference, however: Rin is coming to realize that Kaede is the only one he'll ever need, and the moment he "accidentally" walks off her path, he is gently and lovingly forced back upon it by none other than Kaede herself. I made this canon with the power of my mind.



Yuno Gasai - Mirai Nikki

Often hailed as the queen of yandere, Yuno is surprisingly tame when things come right down to it. I’m not even quite sure what kind of mental strain broke her since I haven‘t read up to the latest chapter, but she’s most definitely yandere regardless. Her yandere was very easily foreseen: I mean, one of the big selling points of the series was her craziness. However, though it’s clear her obsession with Yukki is very deep, most of her yandere moments were not without much reason, handling extreme situations with extreme actions.

Yukki, though occasionally an okay strategist, is ultimately a completely naive idiot. EVERY character in Mirai Nikki except for Yuno has betrayed him at one point or another. The 4th and even his police officer friends all at one point were trying to kill him. The 9th, who is "helping" him now tried to blow him up along with everybody in his school. The 6th totally deceived him in order to murder him and Yuno and yet he was still trying to believe her and not let Yuno kill her. All of his school friends (the guy who's like "I'm shining!" all the time used to make fun of him all the time and sold him out to the 9th during the school bombing, the two girls tried to kill him with the dogs, and the guy is secretly an Owner - he lied about the cell phone, but I bet that book is his diary) His father tried to kill him to get his debt erased. The only other character who was loyal to him other than Yuno was his mom. And Yuno liked his mom. HIS MOTHER WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF HE HAD JUST LISTENED TO YUNO.

So even though he might be afraid of her because she seems insane, she never does anything "bad" unless it is to save him. She's the best thing that has happened to him in his entire shitty life, and he needs to start acting like it. Without her, he would have been the first Owner to die when the future predicted that the 3rd was going to kill him. He should be more appreciative and loving of his yandere. The only reason why she's trying to kill his "friends" is because of the Game. Before, and she even mentions this in a scene after the kidnapping thing, she was content to simply follow a path next to him, even if the paths never cross. She said she just wanted to protect him. Now that there are fuckers all over the place trying to kill him, it's only natural that she goes into overt yandere action mode. And in the process of protecting him, she ends up coming into personal contact with him and kissing him. So now the potential for total yandere is complete.

You can talk about the kidnapping incident all you want, but that doesn't equal out all the times she's saved his LIFE from the other Owners who are trying to kill him. Or the fact that of all the Owners, she is the one that could kill him the easiest with her diary's information, but yet she doesn't. She uses it to protect him. She loves him. Notice how the first thing he does when he leaves Yuno’s care is get himself almost killed again. He would have died too, but instead, she ends up saving him AGAIN at the cost of getting stabbed in the process. Even if she's insane, she's insane for him, and only he can help her become more stable. It's the least he can do considering all she's done for him. Fucker needs to grow some balls and protect Yuno, the only person left in the world who is 100% on his side. How dare he let her get stabbed like that. If he doesn't shape up after seeing his mom get killed, he doesn't deserve such a perfect Yandere by his side.

UPDATE: Read up to current chapter; SHIT GOT BETTER.
 
Jun 3, 2009 at 5:36 AM
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#4


Kotonoha Katsura - School Days

Kotonoha is by far the best character in the entire prolonged trollfest of a series that is School Days. This actually isn't a difficult position to attain considering that all of the other characters are BITCHES AND WHORES. ESPECIALLY Fagkoto. But Kotonoha is different. She isn't like those other unworthy, self-centered sluts. She doesn't even need to be compared to them to be one of the superior specimens on the planet. Just read some of her dialogue from one of the creepiest (and touching) scenes in the anime, some of which is displayed in the second image above.

"I want to be of use to Makoto-kun.

Because I want to be together with Makoto-kun…

I believe in you, Makoto-kun…

Because I am Makoto-kun’s girlfriend…

Makoto-kun, I love you.

I love you so much."

Do you see it? She might seem like a doormat at first glance, but she is faithful, dogged, and dependable above all else. I mean, if that doesn't have you sold, just look at her boobs! What a perfect women. She's too good for this impure world. She doesn't deserve any of the enraging shit she gets, and yet she takes it all with impunity and determination. How dare Fagkoto abandon her side for even one moment! That idiot had no idea what he was letting drift from his reach. But she remained faithful, she did! She waited for you, Makoto! If I could of had my way with the ending, Kotonoha would have lost it even further, using her significant accumulation of currency (not including her Nice Boat or her HUGE tracts of land) to go Count of Monte Cristo on all those bitchtacular hussies.



Yoshimi Satou ~ Yoppi ~ - Tsuyokiss

I was blown away. Tsuyokiss is such a happy VN, and it focuses so much more on tsundere subtypes, I didn’t see it coming at all. You get little hints here and there in other routes, especially in Erika's bad route, where Yoppi's venom against Erika is just a bit over the top, but you don't realize there is something seriously wrong with her until she has a raving collapsing fit in reaction to a normal conversation with you. When that happened I was a bit perplexed, and took it for comedy, as most of the game is, but her true nature reveals itself to you all too wickedly. Wickedly as in AWESOMELY. She likes her sex very rough.

The transition was seamless. Before I knew it, I was caught in her claws, incapable of escape. She’s even more dangerous than Yuno is, and she's not even so much into the whole stabbing deal. She is much more into psychological warfare. Although she does become suicidally depressed and has been known to commit acts of violence if she can get away with it. I could go on for pages about how fucked up she is -- and I don't mean fucked up in an EMO BAAAAAAAAWWW my parents left me alone sort of way, I mean in the serious psychosis requiring large amounts of medication sort of way. She's just not right in the head... and she's the perfect yandere waifu.

If there's someone out there who hasn't played this game, stop being a faggot and play it. You haven't had a waifu until you've had Yoppi. You are robbing yourself of a straight up, real-deal yandere sex machine and stalwart defender of the home against those other skanky bitches. Ohhh how she HATES, ***HATES!!***, HATES LIKE KEFKA those cheap sluts. Just saying more than one sentence to one, no matter how innocent it is, will set Yoppi into seething rage.

Once you get into her route, you walk in on her while she is in her underwear. To hide from others to keep this misunderstanding a secret, you crowd into a locker with her. The next day at school, Yoppi doesn't show up, and Erika is worried about her because she's not answering the phone and only sent an e-mail saying she was sick. Erika sends you out to her apartment to check up on her. Upon arriving, you are kept waiting outside for 30 minutes, and when you are finally let in, you notice that Yoppi appears to have taken a shower. You notice a large box full of what appears to be used tissues, but upon taking her temperature she appears to be fine. Yoppi claims she just got over her cold. The actual use of these tissues is implied to be something else, you can use your imagination; after the close quarters in the locker, she spent the day masturbating at home to you. Yoppi locks the door behind you using multiple bolts and chain locks and closes all the curtains. It becomes evident she doesn't want you to leave, and finally when it starts getting late, the discussion gets around to romance, and after indirectly stating you feel something for her, Yoppi plunges her tongue down your throat for a minute straight, which she proclaims is her first kiss. She then pulls you down, and you spend the rest of the night and most of the following day having sex. You had, what was it again? TWENTY sexual encounters with her on the first day of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend? Yes, I believe that was it. A day of continuous sex, broken up only by snacks and a few naps. THIS is how yandere should be. Fuck, if it was possible to be yandere right back at her in this game, it’d be an instant DEAD END that ended in you fucking each other to death; there is no part about any of that which doesn’t appeal to me. I can't get enough of that cute little “ahogao” she makes when you’re inside her.

You wake up the morning after with an expensive bracelet on your wrist bought for you as a gift - with a lock that can't be taken off again. You go back to school, and Yoppi becomes irrational whenever any girl talks to you for whatever reason. She attacks you for cheating on her. She takes to psychologically terrorizing and bullying the girls around you. She gets up in the middle of the night to check your cell phone. She makes greater and greater demands on your time and freedom. Any contact with the opposite sex for whatever reason is met with a cold rage. She suffers from collapsing fits if called dirty, regardless of the context. She has a compulsive need to masturbate EVERY morning, no matter what, even if you are lying in bed right beside her. She becomes distant from Erika and her classmates, devoting every waking moment to your relationship with her. She finally tells Erika to stay away from you, and when Erika refuses, Yoppi launches a plot to have her raped by you. If you decline this rape plot, Yoppi becomes depressed to the point of suicide and runs off intent on killing herself. You find her, calm her down and promise to be manly enough to accept a yandere waifu. If you accept it right off the bat, you‘ve done so far too eagerly for Yoppi‘s tastes and she proceeds to kill you and then herself.

Tsuyokiss is one out of a small handful of VNs I actually go back to every once and a while to relive it. Sometimes I miss Yoppi and go back specifically to play her route again. You unlock Yoshimi's route by getting Erika's second bad end. It's best to save it for last, since all the other routes have little teases and close encounters where you get hints of Yoshimi's real personality; and it makes the payoff all worth it. I can't go back to typical eroge heroines being timid in bed after having Yoshimi put out like she did.

Its sequel was a travesty, though. Yoppi went from an obsessive, mentally unstable stalker to a mere jealous girlfriend. Takahiro, the scenario writer behind Tsuyokiss, had nothing to do with Tsuyokiss 2 and it shows. Likewise, the anime is severely inferior to the VN, but while I say this I might as well tell you that water is wet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQRscpBQO3A

This concludes my first comprehensive lecture upon Yanderekology. I shall now humbly take my leave. Go forth, my students, and good luck!
 
Jun 3, 2009 at 5:38 AM
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#5
Why is this formatted in a similar fashion to a bible?
 
Jun 3, 2009 at 9:56 AM
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#6
Fire1052 said:
Why is this formatted in a similar fashion to a bible?
Because it's a BIBLE.
it's THE Bible.
The only real one.
Now stfu and start reading.
 
Jun 4, 2009 at 2:19 AM
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#7
JacobX891 said:
So you're not cracked. Well, not completely.
I had my doubts, but this definitely confirms the idea that you're not insane.
Also, I'm afraid I have NO idea what most of those chicks are from. I don't understand anything you're talking about when you say 'good' and 'bad' 'paths'.
But... Still, nice... um... referral?
Of course I'm not insane.

Anyway, the series where those characters are from are listed beside their names. All of these are put in bold under their profile picture. Most of them are from VNs, or visual novels, all of which were adapted into anime. Yuno is from the manga Mirai Nikki.
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 5:50 AM
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#8
Best thread on all of Miraigamer.

Prove me wrong.

You can't.
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 6:10 PM
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#9
Kageryushin said:
Best thread on all of Miraigamer.

Prove me wrong.

You can't.
One, "The burden of proof lies with the positive claimant". We don't have to prove that this thread isn't the best, you have to prove that it is. And two, argument from ignorance. Classic fallacy that "You can't prove that X, therefore not X".
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:31 PM
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#10
T-Jack said:
One, "The burden of proof lies with the positive claimant". We don't have to prove that this thread isn't the best, you have to prove that it is. And two, argument from ignorance. Classic fallacy that "You can't prove that X, therefore not X".
Ohohoho, probatio diabolica. There is no evidence to prove that the devil exists, but there is also no evidence that says "the devil does not exist" so therefore one cannot rule that the devil doesn't exist. So, in that event, I can reverse the burden of proof. And, you know, you can never have concrete proof that the devil does not exist no matter how irrational it sounds, while my side need only show you a devil to prove that "the devil exists." Therefore, the lack of proof that contradicts me saying that this is the best thread on Miraigamer makes the statement true, in a sense!

 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:32 PM
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#11
...damn I like that picture alot for some reason...
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:39 PM
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#12
Kageryushin said:
Ohohoho, probatio diabolica. There is no evidence to prove that the devil exists, but there is also no evidence that says "the devil does not exist" so therefore one cannot rule that the devil doesn't exist. So, in that event, I can reverse the burden of proof. And, you know, you can never have concrete proof that the devil does not exist no matter how irrational it sounds, while my side need only show you a devil to prove that "the devil exists." Therefore, the lack of proof that contradicts me saying that this is the best thread on Miraigamer makes the statement true, in a sense!
You know what the best part is? I never said that the thread is not the best either. I was just pointing out the fallacy. I never intended to prove anything, I just wanted to say that yes, you can say that the thread is the best one on the forums, but we have no reason to believe you. Peace
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:41 PM
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#13
You dont have much reasons not to believe him either.
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:43 PM
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#14
whyme said:
You dont have much reasons not to believe him either.
Therefore I may choose to believe whether I want to.
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:44 PM
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#15
And so can anybody else...
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:45 PM
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#16
Wonderful how this all works out, hmmm?
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 7:45 PM
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#17
whyme said:
And so can anybody else...
So you understand. Perfect.
 
Aug 30, 2009 at 8:01 PM
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#18
As of now this does seem like the best thread...
 
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