Horrible Cave Story review

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Dec 2, 2011 at 3:33 AM
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Dec 2, 2011 at 3:48 AM
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GIRakaCHEEZER said:
http://www.destructoid.com/why-cave-story-is-the-worst-videogame-ever-169133.phtml
This review is just so bad, that it makes me SO ANGRY. Never have I seen such an unjustified legitimate attempt to hate on Cave Story for all the wrong reasons. It fills me with so much anger.

The reviewer clearly has no idea what he's talking about.
Makes me want to say "Obvious troll is obvious" to the whole damn thing. I stopped reading about half way through. This person obviously does not understand anything about gaming.
Or that CAVE STORY IS BRILLIANT
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 3:53 AM
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I can tell Gir was joking, but just in case people still don't realize, it's a joke review. It even says so at the bottom (not to mention it's pretty damn obvious).

Good 'ol Jim... makes me laugh every time! :D
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 3:56 AM
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Well that would explain it...
Heh, I must remember to read the whole thing next time.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 4:04 AM
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Oh i remember reading this before. First I was pissed off, because it didn't look like he actually looked at the game more than twice, but about halfway through I was almost positive it was a joke.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 4:32 AM
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I'm glad it was a joke. I read the part about it being too hard, I couldn't take it anymore. Not wanting a challenge is like watching a movie 30 times in a row.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 4:44 AM
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I read it a while back as well, I laughed my ass off - particularly at this statement:
"Cave Story is about half-naked anthropomorphic rabbits that have sex with each other, probably. The whole game is a furry's wet dream"
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 4:46 AM
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Guys
How do you not get the joke after, like, the second paragraph
He's making actual jokes in his review
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 5:16 AM
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Pretty much is a furry's wet dream. Why do you think Fab, Jacob, and Yakkers love it so damn much? (especially Jacob)

Anyway, I love this review. Because, honestly, throw this game at any little CoD fanboy, or any indie game for that matter, and they'll just moan about how much it sucks. Anyone who takes it seriously, well, get off the internet.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 5:27 AM
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WD said:
Because, honestly, throw this game at any little CoD fanboy, or any indie game other than a FPS for that matter, and they'll just moan about how much it sucks.
Fixed it for you.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 6:31 AM
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I absolutely despise Jim and that shoddy show he gets paid for on the Escapist. He has no tact and is so self gratifying it causes retinal bleeding. Writers are paid on commission and linking it from here drives traffic thus allowing the cycle to repeat.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 6:43 AM
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Yes, thank you for telling us who to dislike for no reason. I thought the article was hilarious.
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 7:22 AM
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And I was so hyped and ready to write an angry post when I saw the thread title too :greydroll:
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 10:23 AM
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Actually GIR, I tried to show Doom to some CoD fanboys, in hopes to get them into a good FPS, and they still said that it sucked.
WD said:
Anyway, I love this review. Because, honestly, throw this game at any little CoD fanboy, or any game made before 2010 and that is not an FPS for that matter, and they'll just moan about how much it sucks.
Fix'd it again.

I was mostly pissed off at the commenters, who actually agreed with him (even though this was a joke review). They forgot that this was a joke review, and actually probably emphasising his recurring point on fanboyism. Maybe I should laugh at them too...
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 11:55 AM
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I actually managed to pull off introducing Cave Story to CoD fanboys. I showed it to two of my friends in class. One is now stuck on the Doctor, and the other is stuck in hell. :greydroll:
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 1:47 PM
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About the difficulty am I the only one here who honestly considers the game too hard after the boulder?
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 4:21 PM
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Seriously, he used two yiffy pics to illustrate his review? And I even saw the full version of the second one, with Tails! NOT PRETTY! X33

Yeah yeah it's a joke review, bu still he got short of pulling that punch! XD
 
Dec 2, 2011 at 5:14 PM
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sirtophat said:
About the difficulty am I the only one here who honestly considers the game too hard after the boulder?
Probably.

It's not a very hard game at all.
 
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