In my silent, wandering days prior to a presence on the internet, it’s true that this was the first place to catch my eye, and the lurking I did (along with a friend's earlier gift of Cave Story on a USB, of course) is why I decided to stay. But while the random/theory/opinion topics were things I wanted to have input on (and did), the main draw was the people. The CSTSF's been home to ruffians and troublemakers and stupid drama, of course, but it’s also got lots of kind, funny, interesting folks whose exploits here I wanted to be a part of. Through luck and favor and efforts to not be awful, I was - and I’m happy to call many of you friends now. c: As with everything, there was a catch, not even including my periodic fits of anxious withdrawal. With time, a sizeable chunk of the people I liked talking to simply snuggled up and spent most time outside the forum, via instant messaging. While I took a long time to grow used to the format of (then) Skype and Pidgin due to my slow typing and lengthy writing style (I’m still working on it!), it was easier in a way. No worrying about silence and decay, or bringing in a topic, or scouring threads for something to reply to - just reading backlogs for fun and responding to the recent lines of conversation. Nearly everything I’ve done in attempts to help here, and every project I’ve begun, has ended in failure. I suppose it was an escape, usually, from the neurotic sensation that I’m never doing enough. As they always do, the misplaced emotions escalated, and I became a *spoopy ghost*. Nowadays, I still enjoy the rituals. I change my avatar, title and Signature to fit the seasons and my whims. Although the Gallery has become something of an existential crisis simulator in recent years, I find it satisfying to update too! And once in a while, at least for a time, I made updates when significant things happened in my life, but that’s tapered off as well with my current distaste for the profile section. The active crowd here does include people I admire/enjoy talking to, many of them old friends who haven’t really made the leap to Discord, but I hold so much baggage (product of a long-held fear for the deterioration I struggle with) that I never have anything to say. Until I manage a drastic and proper reboot someday, which means either shifting the weight of my failures off or contributing actual content to the community, I’ll remain here as a courteous and regrettable shade of the promise I held.