76 replies to this topic

[Ambient_Malice]

Continuing my obsession:

You meet a nice lady. She's sweet, kind, charming, intelligent, and witty. Things are warming up between you.

Then she confides she's a vampire, and furthermore won't have hot vampire sex with you until you agree to be her servant for the rest of your life.

Would you?

[Captain Fabulous]

1. Would you rather be able to go back in time 5 minutes with a 5 minute cooldown (so you can't travel back again and again to go back further), or be able to fast forward your perceived passage of time indefinitely? You would still be able to do stuff at a normal speed when fast forwarding, it would just make a work day pass laser fast.
2. Say you're single, and on a plane. A women is sitting next to you, and you proceed to make small talk for the duration of the flight. She is completely unremarkable in looks and personality. At the end of the flight, she says that she will give you $10,000 (Canadian of course) to have sex with her in the motel a block away that she's paying for. You'll reach your destination post-flight at the same time if you say yes, and it will have no impact on future events. No one will find out, and no one will question your monetary gain. Do you say yes or no?
3. If you could stop time for 10 minutes each day, what would you do with your time? (saw this one on askreddit, genuinely curious)
4. You could have any animal as a pet. Food, living, and medical costs for this pet are taken care of. What animal would you pick? It would be completely tame and obedience trained, and 100% legal.

1. Back in time 5 minutes. I always pick this. I can do whatever I want as long as it takes less than five minutes. Think about how many things you can do in under 5 minutes, and now there are no consequences for any of them. This is the equivalent of quicksaving. It also means I can know how a conversation or a fight is going to go before I start.
2. Do I know if she's clean? If she's clean, yes, if not or unsure, no. It's... it's sex and money. I don't really see a downside.
3. I choose not to get into the physical implications of stopping time for everything but yourself and I will assume the best possible magical mechanics of this ability. It would be similar to the 5-minute rewind, in that I could grope people, but 10 minutes also isn't much. I could get places faster and get work done sooner, at least from the perspective of others. And, of course, I would use it to fuck with people. Rearrange furniture and such. I can't think of a very creative use for this one.
4. A housecat because those are the shit. Sure, I could ride a lion instead of taking the car, but that's not very practical and I can't lie on the sofa with a lion.

QUESTIONS:
If you could control any element (of the periodic table) which would it be?
If you could control one of the four fundamental forces, which would it be?
A genie will grant you three wishes, as long as they're self-serving. What do you wish for?
Would you rather be able to become 2 bears or a hundred squirrels?

1. Hydrogen, as it is common as all fuck (No really, all fucking involves hydrogen). If I have telekinetic powers over hydrogen, I can control all organic compounds and many other common compounds as well.
2. Electromagnetism so I could make my dick glow.
3. I'd ask for self-motivation, the ability to understand all points of view on any subject, and rocket boots. I believe I mentioned this before, but rocket boots are pretty fucking cool.
4. Bears are fierce and terrifying predators that will be tranquillized and thrown in a forest somewhere if they get into the city. Squirrels, however, are much less detectable and the possibilities are endless. Just imagine what you could do with 100 squirrels... probably even steal a car. Maybe I can't think of ingenious schemes right now, but give me a hundred squirrels and you would be amazed at the outcome.

Continuing my obsession:

You meet a nice lady. She's sweet, kind, charming, intelligent, and witty. Things are warming up between you.

Then she confides she's a vampire, and furthermore won't have hot vampire sex with you until you agree to be her servant for the rest of your life.

Would you?

Okay so ignoring the vampire thing, since I don't know how it changes anything:
Servant? Do I get paid? Do I get to go home at night? Is it like being married? Because being married is like serving each other. If it's just me serving her, that's a shitty marriage and no one wants that. If it's like marriage then still no, because if you look at my bio it will give you about three reasons why that's a bad idea.

Edited by Captain Fabulous, 31 March 2012 - 12:30 AM.

[Ambient_Malice]

If I'd meant marriage, I would have said marriage. If you're the vampire's pet, you'd have to fetch her stuff and do basically everything she tells you. But you'd have perks. Yes, you would get paid. Arseloads. But the downside is she might hurt you. Like, on a sliding scale from pinched wrist to broken neck.

On the other hand, would you be up for it if the vampire wanted a strictly 'friendly' relationship? Because I actually dislike sexualized vampires. I only mentioned hot vampire sex for the laughs.

[Captain Fabulous]

No. Money isn't enough compensation for a broken neck, I would clearly hate this woman within days if she's going to treat me like a pet, and vampire sex would suck because she would be room temperature.

[cultr1]

I had a dream last night I was being chased by these giant speaker robots, through a city. I was the only one around for some reason, I guess it didn't faze me until afterwards. Anyway, I was about to be trampled when I had this idea to plug my phone into one of the speakers so I jumped on top of one and started blasting music through the robot. That somehow was a trigger for the other robots, who all started playing the same song. On top of this, I could control the robots as long as this one song was playing, and it never occurred to me to use the repeat function or the restart button, so I had to keep going back to the beginning of the song manually every 4 minutes and it was really stressful. All I managed to do was trash some buildings accidentally before I woke up D:

[Dunc2403]

(hey cult guess what


wrong thread)

[cultr1]

nope. I was just gushing.

Edited by cultr1, 31 March 2012 - 03:45 AM.

[Captain Fabulous]

I'm gonna go with "yes," although that was an awfully unorthodox way of asking.

[cultr1]

I spent a long time thinking about how to put that one, glad you got the gist of it (:

Okay, here's some tougher ones, I think.
1. Would you rather have a spouse who loves you unconditionally, but forgets everything that happened the previous day every time she wakes up (this condition would appear after a few months of marriage, so you're still in the groove of almost newly-weds), or a spouse who is also compatible with you, but refuses to get intimate?
2. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? What is the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? Please don't try and downplay that second one, everyone always does.
3. If I were to buy you the gift of your choice right now, for any price, what would it be?
4. If you could change one facet of your persona, what would it be? Looks, personality traits, I don't care, just have a good reason.

And walk me through your thought process dammit, if I wanted only answers I would've given this as a Scantron.

Edited by cultr1, 31 March 2012 - 03:59 AM.

[sexplosive]

if you give any advice to yourself when you were, say, 14, what would it be?
what is the most meaningful thing you've ever made or done (to you personally)?
what is the thing you hate most about your life right now?

A new update of iTunes (10.6.1) is available. Would you like to download it now?